September 20, 2009

I messed my head and I messed my head

the way people's hair wave in the wind.the way your hair wave in the wind.the way sunset light makes people look beautiful.the way sunset light makes you look beautiful.the way tiny things can keep you happy for the rest of the day.the way you stare at him when he gives you away.the way youve been charmed by clouds and waves.the way melodies move your hearts and minds and souls.the way he hurts you and the way youre killing him.
he lifts me up.he brings me down.

September 16, 2009

the pains of being pure at heart

and theres a moment in all peoples lives when "baaaaaaaaaaam" .it cuts you down it makes you spit blood .hell yeah I just got my moment.

September 13, 2009

parades gone under seas

its the mizery of your mind that will eat your soul.why wasting your life when you know that the second youll close your eyes for ever youll be begging for two more lives even if they had more pain.

September 11, 2009

out come the wolves

i wanted to die i started smoking cigarettes til the ashtray was full.and then I ate the ashes so I can have cancer as soon as possible.I wanted to drown myself today when I saw her .I wanted to kill myself today when I saw her counting her pills and whispering things.I wanted to kiss her on the forehead but I couldnt.I wanted her to stop crying.I stared at her and smoked til I had cancer.then I locked all the windows in my room and started smoking til cinder chocked me.I shouted and screamed I wanted to die today.I climbed rooftops and skies and dreams.I played with pains and cries and bloods and I wanted him to play with me.I chased her fears and washed her.water wont help her.and I wanted him to wash me and get rid of me.and then I dressed her with my mind.I made her look beautiful again.with red dress and black shoes and a smile.but her pain coloured the dress black.and she started crying and shouting that her heart aches and that her body is weak and that her soul is weak and she might not make it.and then I was dressed in black.and I was crying with her dead body in my arms.and then I shoke my head and Im back to reality and I lay her in bed.and I stay by her side so I can hear her breathing.because I dont want to be dressed in black.and I dont want her dead body in my arms.and I cry and want her life back.and want her soul back and her heart.then I wanted to call him so he can hear me crying and care about me.I wanted him to know that I cry a lot when hes not there.and I wanted to call him just to hear my cries and not say a thing.I wanted to tell him that I smoked cigarettes til I had cancer and that I ate the ashes so I can have cancer as soon as possible and that I bathed her and that I wanted someone to bathe me and that I was aching and shouting and yelling that I wanted to die today.I wanted him to know that Im crying right now.I didnt call him and I didnt die today.